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August 15, 2007
 They say don't corner a wild animal because that's when you'll get hurt. Backed into a corner with no apparent way out, they'll attack even when the odds are overwhelmingly against them.
Do you always feel like you're backed into a corner? The corner you're backed into could be debt, your job, a relationship, a health issue, or any number of things. But when you've reach the point of feeling like your back's up against a wall, rational thinking tends to go out the window and you loose your objectivity. In this frame of mind, we usually do something stupid, or at least the wrong things, and perpetuate he situation.
You see this everyday, and it's not even the big, really important things that can make people blow up - the seemingly unimportant things can set people off and cause them to do a drastic amount of damage. In some cases it's the "straw that broke the camel's back": you're in debt so far you feel you'll never get out, your car's broken down, your roof leaks, the bill collectors call your phone all the time, the kids want to know what's for dinner. Do you reach in the cabinet and drink, do you pop some more "happy" pills, do you yell scream and curse, do you knock one of the kids through the wall? Maybe you do one or more of those things. Or, do you do the harder thing and put your arms around the ones you love and take a deep breath? I say the harder thing, because when you're at the breaking point, it's human nature to lash out: you're backed in a corner and the base survival responses take over.
A lot of people think money, or lack of money rather, is the source of their problems. But it's not. Very few wealthy people buy lottery tickets. I guess some do for fun, but not out of desperation. The majority of poor people buy lottery tickets out of desperation. Why? Because they think it's their only way out, that they have no other way, nothing to offer, and no other value. Hello! There's the problem! Solve that mode of thinking and you'll solve your problems. Maybe not overnight like winning the lottery, but fast enough. This is the same reason that most lottery winners who were broke when they won the lottery will be broke again in a year or two: their thinking is flawed and propels them towards failure.
The other big issue that keeps people locked in a position of failure is refusal to change. This feeds fuel to the feeling of, or actual position of, being backed in a corner. Did you ever see the Andy Griffith episode with the old man who made berries for ladies hats? He owed back taxes and the city was foreclosing on his house. He had boxes and boxes of dried berries of all types: the market for berries for ladies hats had long since seen its day. Had he been willing to change his business and keep up with the market he wouldn't have been in that position, but instead, he just kept on making dried berries even though no one bought them. Now don't laugh, it does not have to be business, it can be your job, your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, fiancé, car, house, hobbies, habits, etc. The list is endless. Sometimes we're like the monkey in a cage who's reached outside the bars and picked up a banana that will not fit back inside the bars as long as he's holding it. He won't let go of that banana for anything, even though if he'd let go, he could get something nicer, or even work it through the bars some other way.
What bananas are you holding outside your cage? Identify some of those bananas and get rid of them.
Maybe you watch 2 or 3 hours of TV each night after your kids go to bed. Maybe you don't have kids, but most nights you come home from work and watch TV and drink beer until you fall asleep. Turn it off. Or only watch 1 hour. That 2 hours each week night ads up to 10 hours a week you could spend creating a business such as an Internet Business, Learning something new, exercising, or a long list of other things. The key is that once you start improving in one area, you'll start improving in all areas. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it takes courage to change. Yes, it takes a lot of energy and determination. Yes, there will be setbacks, failures, and frustration. But stick with it and don't give up. You will get results. You will see improvements. If your friends try holding you back or making fun of you, then you've just identified another banana, or bunch of bananas, you need to drop!
Fred
Update 8/16/2007: I really like Steve Pavlina's blog. Yesterday he posted a really good entry titled Life Sucks Then You Die that's related to the point I'm making here. Read it!
Posted by Fred on August 15, 2007 | Printer-Friendly
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