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June 19, 2007
 You want to change something in your life and you're having trouble doing so. The thing you want to change is something that's not so easy to do. It can be anything, but for whatever reason, you can't seem to get there.
It could be:
- Get a new romantic relationship
- Loose weight
- Gain weight (muscle)
- Start a business and quit your job
- Get your web site or blog to have tons of traffic
- Make a million dollars
- Master a new sport
- Get out of debt
- These are only a few examples, there are many, many more.
How do you make it happen? How do you get from where you are (Point A) to where you want to be (Point B)? You can find and read a lot of advice about setting and achieving goals. You can read about the Law of Attraction right here on this blog as well as many others. But what actually works? Why is it that some people seem destined to succeed at whatever they attempt and others seemed destined to fail? And no matter how hard those that are failing appear to work at NOT failing, they just never seem to get off the ground. Why?
There's no global answer to these questions. There's not an eBook that I can hand you that gives you the step-by-step plan to success. Everyone is different. Everyone's situation is different. Every problem is different. However, there are some guidelines and generalizations that work pretty much across the board, and that are commonly found among successful people.
- Don't Give Up. I've talked about this before in other blog posts, but it's true, successful people didn't start out that way; they tried and tried and tried until they were successful. WD-40 didn't start at 40; it's the 40th formulation they tried.
- Study people who are successful at what you're trying to achieve. Read what they've written, listen to what they have to say, spend some time in their company. If possible, get a mentor to help you along the path.
- Identify some behaviors, traits, attributes, etc. that a person who is successful at what you're trying to achieve has, and take on those behaviors yourself.
- Identify your own behaviors, traits, attributes, etc. that a person who is successful at what you're trying to achieve would NOT do, and eliminate those from your life.
Numbers 3 and 4 are very important and also very easy to NOT GET. For example, Number 3 does not mean that if your goal is to be a millionaire you should go out and buy a huge home, a very expensive luxury car, all on credit and go into debt. That's not what a millionaire would do. Sure, they may have those things, but that's not how they obtained them. In an extreme sense, Number 3 really means Do what they would do if they suddenly found themselves in your shoes, or suddenly found themselves stripped of their success and resources. A millionaire in that position would not take on huge debt loads; instead, they would focus on conserving cash and building income streams. They probably would not buy any lottery tickets either! A big house with its huge mortgage would probably be sold and replaced with a tiny house and small mortgage or low rent payment. Expensive cars that are not paid for would be sold. They would focus on each small success and know that even a small success is a positive movement in the right direction. Each small success is like a little push on a big flywheel: it moves slowly at first, but picks up speed with each success.
I personally know someone who sold their huge home (with a huge mortgage) and moved their family into a very small townhouse. Sure it was painful. She focused on her business and speaking engagements. After only two or three years, they now own a large home (not quite as large as the one they sold, but very nice) and a beach house, both paid for (no mortgage). She's in demand around the country as a motivational speaker. Its not always this fast, however, once you remove the boat anchors from around your neck, it's much easier to make headway toward your goals. Many of us are brainwashed into putting the cart before the horse, i.e. getting into debt and spending the rest of our lives paying it off (in case you don't know, the cart is supposed to go BEHIND the horse!) See my post Are You a Prisoner of the American Dream.
Number 3 and 4 also refers to smaller habits, activities, behaviors, etc. For example, if you're trying to become a successful musician what are some things that a successful musician would do and what are some things that you may be doing that they would NOT do? A successful musician practices regularly, plays with other musicians regularly, and performs as much as possible. A successful musician would NOT say: I can't perform until I reach a certain level (i.e. I'm not good enough). You never want to walk on stage and make a fool out of yourself, so match up the venue to your skill level. For example, play a coffee house with a more experienced friend or a festival jam session if you're just starting out, but a successful musician, stripped of their success, would practice and perform as much as possible. Each successful performance reinforces your focus and intention on success and gets that big flywheel turning faster and faster.
Look for the little things that you can start doing now (or stop doing now in the case of something that has a negative effect) to move a little closer to reaching your goals.
Until Next Time,
Fred
(P.S. Turn off the TV too!)
About the Author
Fred Black is an experienced programmer, web site developer, online business operator, systems integrator, father, husband, musician, and songwriter. Visit his Internet Business Blog at: http://www.pqInternet.com.
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Comments:
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Fred,
That's a great post on achievement!
In 1991 George Leonard wrote a beautifully inspiring book called "Mastery - The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment". It's still available on Amazon.
The key phrase is "Long-Term Fulfillment".
He uses his understanding and experience of the Aikido world to suggest why "goal-setters" have such an impatience with the concept of mastery.
And he uses that premise to introduce the "dabbler, the obsessive and the hacker" and how they typically tend to behave when attempting to travel some of the paths you listed in your post.
It truly is an outstanding read and has shaped some of my coaching philosophy, that of "goal creation" in particular.
While checking on Google before I posted this, I see there is now an independently produced DVD on the market. I will put it on my Buy list.
http://www.the5keystomastery.com/_Home.html
Nice summary of the 5 keys on the web site - I notice that the profiled people have indeed "practiced, practiced, practiced" in their particular specialties, and for many years... this is not get-????-quick.
Of course, those people are at or near the pinnacle of their chosen professions and that can be sometimes off putting to the rest of us with apparently a lesser talent.
However, I believe it is very possible for anyone with lesser talents to achieve much more than they think they can currently achieve, once they start on their own path to mastery...
Ever thought of being a coach, Fred ? ;-)
Your writing is very uplifting yet grounded in realism.
regards
mark
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Hi Fred,
Having been in the business of assisting others to achieve their goals for over 8 years, I would like to present the guidelines over 1,200 people used to successfully achieve their goals.
1. They concentrated on discovering who they were, what made them tick, and what motivated them as a unique individual.
2. They discovered and set their own personal goals to suit their own passions, dreams, and beliefs.
3. They changed the conditions around them to achieve their goals their way and on their own terms
4. They got help from the right person to assist them to discover who they are and to provide the total nonjudgmental support they wanted to succeed.
5. They never gave up until they achieved their personally chosen goals on their own terms.
I hope these guidelines help. They worked exceptionally well for others.
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From Fred...
