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May 3, 2007
... the life that you wanted to live.
Are you freezing to death mentally?
In survival training courses we're taught that just before a person freezes to death they feel warm, peaceful, and comfortable and that they just want to lie down and go to sleep. You're taught to look out for that feeling and try to keep your mental wits about you and keep moving. I think there's an epidemic of people in the world today that are freezing to death mentally.
There's a term that's popular in a lot of Internet Marketing forums called the "Herd Mind" or "Marketing to the Herd". The concept is that people blindly follow each other like a herd of cattle. We're conditioned to take the "accepted" path with our lives: which usually means getting a job and spending a large portion of our waking lives at work. We want the big house and the big car and take on big debt to get those things. Once you do, you're locked into a life of serving that debt.
People eventually start identifying themselves with their jobs. When you're young and just starting out, you look up to and respect the people at the top of the company. You listen in awe as they talk about the time they put in and the sacrifices they make for the company. You begin to work an extra hour or two a few times a week to get noticed, and then it becomes more and more. Before long, you're working all the time. Then you start feeling guilty if you're not working. Read Terry Deans post (after you finish reading mine of course!) about Workaholics in Denial. This attitude of giving your life to your job becomes engrained in you. You know to reach that top rung you have to sacrifice. You've probably created, built, or accomplished something substantial, or sold an amazing amount of product: but who benefited from it the most, you or your employer? Your employer did. Are you in this condition?
What have you lost because of the hours you've put in at work? Have you lost a marriage? Did you miss your children growing up? Did you forget about the dreams you once had and the things you were passionate about? Are you numb? Are you feeling warm, peaceful, and comfortable and just want to lie down and go to sleep? Mental Hypothermia.
Or, maybe you do your 9 to 5 or 8 to 5, and come home completely drained because you hate your job. Then you sit on the couch watching TV most nights until its bed time. You just don't ever feel up to doing much else. Maybe you think you're OK because the characters on those TV shows are like family to you. You get more excited about what they're doing than you do about your own spouse or children. When your favorite shows come on, you feel really good inside: peaceful, calm, and comfortable. You expect everyone to respect your time and not interrupt you during this communion with your TV family. You may not even see anything wrong with telling your kids "just hang on, a commercial's coming up". Mental Hypothermia.
The thing about hypothermia is that you don't feeling it coming on, it's not like breaking your leg or dropping a rock on your foot, hypothermia sneaks up on you. Mental Hypothermia is the same way. You slowly let go of the "you", of the dreams, passions, and plans you had for your life and replace it with servitude to a corporation and a mountain of debt.
Sometimes a life altering event like a divorce or your children getting into serious trouble can wake you up and allow you to see the reality of the life you're living. Sometimes it's waking up in the hospital after having a heart attack. Sometimes it's walking or driving by a park on your lunch hour and watching someone pushing their child on a swing while your children are in daycare. Sometimes it's meeting someone who's living their life on their terms and it makes you realize you're not.
Everyone is different, and therefore, not everyone can or should do the same thing. I'm not advocating that everyone quit their jobs after they read this. What I am advocating is that you learn to see your job as a job, not as who you are. That you live your life to its fullest potential and minimize the amount of time you give to your job and maximize the amount of time you spend with your family, loved ones, and pursuing your interests, goals, and dreams that are not work related.
Once you realize that you've been ripped off by following the herd how do you get back to where you want to be? Sometimes it's as simple as realigning your priorities and getting to know your family again. Sometimes debt is an issue and you need to downsize your home, cars, lifestyle, etc. so that you can live. Maybe you want to eliminate having to have a job so you need to develop a business or residual income sources that don't require a lot of time to manage.
Whatever the situation, here are some ideas that can help you get back to reality!
- Realize that your job and workplace is a job and not a social club. Go to work, get your job done and leave on time. If your employer is one that takes advantage of your time or expects you to work long hours for free on a regular basis, look for another job.
- Realize that there's no glory in putting in long hours for someone else. There's no glory in putting in long hours for yourself either unless you're building a business or income source that, once started, you can back away from time wise.
- Realize that you are not your job. You are a person, an individual, a living thing. Don't identify yourself with your job.
- Realize that you are not your debt. Debt can make you feel bad about yourself, especially when you're having trouble paying your bills. Debt can easily perpetuate the cycle of failure because it's always on your mind. You feel shackled by it. The law of attraction says we attract more of what we think about. You must learn to separate your debt from yourself. You are a person, an individual, a living thing. Your happiness is not tied to how much money you have, or don't have, or the physical things you have. Happiness and self-worth is rooted in your relationships with others, helping others, and your ability to do those things that you're passionate about. See my post: Success does not happen by chance, it requires change..
- Realize that you are not your money. Even if you've been fortunate and made a lot of money with your job, your money is not you. Self-worth and happiness is not measured by how much money you have. Happiness and self-worth are rooted in your relationships with others, helping others, and your ability to do those things that you're passionate about.
- Exercise. Get up and do something. Even something as simple as going for a walk or walking stairs makes a huge difference. Do it everyday if possible.
- Work on your creative side. Learn to play a new musical instrument, or dust off the old one sitting in your closet. Do it regularly. Take a music class. Take an art class.
- Don't be so anal about your yard being perfect, the house being clean, or your car being washed. Instead, spend some time with your spouse, your kids, or the whole family. Go to a park, a movie, a play, walk the dog, play a game. It really doesn't matter; just do something together (besides watching TV).
- Find something to do to help others.
- Take time everyday to visualize your goals. See my post: You Can't Push a String!.
- Stop and smell the roses. Yes, I mean that quite literally. Appreciate the beauty that nature creates around you.... Before it's paved over and someone builds another bank or SuperCenter.
- Avoid negative people at all costs. They will pull you down. Spend time with positive people that are generally happy and supportive.
- Fill out the form in the top right corner of this blog and I'll send you an email everytime I make a post. I want to help you to reach success, and perhaps something I write in a future post will make all the difference to you.
- Treat your spouse, or significant other, with the same care, respect, passion, and interest as you did when you first met. Ever notice how easy it is to let that slip over time and start treating perfect strangers better than the ones you love? Don't do that! Keep the fire burning!
Think about the problems that are created by this epidemic of Mental Hypothermia. We're too busy to care about the political situation, or get to know the teachers teaching our children, or question the quality of public education. Political corruption is allowed to run rampant. No one wants to serve. Very few people join service organizations. Church attendance falls and falls. We're too busy to care about anything and besides, someone else will surely take care of it. Mental Hypothermia creates a generation of youth that don't care about anything at all.
Wake up, thaw out, and get off the merry-go-round!
Sincerely,
Fred
About the Author
Fred Black is an experienced programmer, web site developer, online business operator, systems integrator, father, husband, musician, and songwriter. Visit his Internet Business Blog at: http://www.pqInternet.com.
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Posted by Fred on May 3, 2007 | Printer-Friendly
TrackBack: http://www.pqInternet.com/Blog/mt-tb.cgi/45
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Life & Law of Attraction
| Truth and Freedom
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- illusions and dreams...
wake up and thaw out
as mentioned below i stopped blogging pretty much exactly two years ago. you may wonder why and let me try to explain what happened. it all started at the beginning of 2005. i had just finished writing my PhD thesis and was in a sort of “no man&#...
Comments:
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100% true-every word of it. Believe me, I've been there and done that, and wished I hadn't. It simply wasn't worth it.
Negative people can kill you-slowly, painfully and darned nearly invisibly as well. Enjoy the love you get, it produces abundant joyous life. Give all the love you can, and pass that good on to others who meet you. Treasure those who lift you up. Avoid those who don't. It really is that simple. Choose which type of person you will be in every moment you're alive. You either give life or deal in death.And the choice is always up to you.
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I slightly disagree with nr. 12 (Avoid negative people at all costs) - you should at least try to show them how to be positive, otherwise they'll get more and more negative. Remember they're not negative by choice, everybody wants to be liked.
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Numbers 3 and 12 just suck and show how egoistic and childlike you are.
Number 3 implies that you don't like your job. It reads like you're only working because you're paid for it, not because you feel useful and you're really interested in your job. Number 1 is just as stupid : "don't work too much because it's bad for you". Never read anything more egoistic. If you manage to do the job you want to do, you have no reason not to work more, because you want the job done, and well done. The first step to living a better life is doing a job you enjoy. No, it doesn't mean you're not paid for it ! It means you do this because you feel useful AND/OR because you love what you do. If you're a street cleaner, you're useful, and you should be proud to be useful. You are what you do, and if you don't like your job or just do it because you're paid for it, then you should either take another job or change your way of thinking. THAT is positive.
Number 12 : I'll tell you : people who only want to be with positive people are the most pompous, egoistic and stupid jerks. "You want to be great, talk with great people". Well, let's take an example. Let's say you're not very positive at the moment and try to have a better life. Let's say you want to be with other people who are (as you say) positive. If these people follow your rules, then no one will want to hang with you, because you're not positive.
I think you're frozen, Fred, because your ideas are dead cold and biased.
My advice : hang with negative people and help them. Do a job you really love, build something you're really proud of and don't count the extra hours. Realise that money is important, because money is energy : don't dilapidate it but use it wisely. Think about your debt until it's paid : there is a way to get rid of your debt, and you can do it. Work hard, and if it's not enough, work harder.
Don't seek happiness, make it happen.
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Fred,
I really like your post. I believe you gave a lot of great insights. Certainly, it's not "the way" and is just one model... but, I think a powerful one.
As you said, you touched a nerve! Keep it up man!
John
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Good stimulating post, Fred.
It's reminding me now of that line from the movie, The Shawshank Redemption:
"Get busy living or get busy dying".
regards
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Great tips. I totally agree with your list and i think that it's possible to enjoy life and stop worrying about useless things. What is the use of working for money when we end up wasting our life doing something we don't like. Life has to be a game, where we have fun, respect our loved ones and keep one goal in mind.. to be happy and to make others happy!
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Hi Fred
As usual great article. I found your blog by chance......or maybe not! Keep up the good work and keep blogging about the things you want.
I now have moved out of a job I actually really enjoyed and decided to have a go at helping a bigger audience through the internet.
They are still a group that need lots of help and support. At the end of the day being a business owner or self-employed isn't ok for everyone. Lets be realistic if everyone wanted to work for themselves the world would grind to a halt!
Best Wishes
Denise
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