January 9, 2012
Conflicting Thought Patterns: Is Fear of being Unplugged a Sign of Impending Failure?
Maybe I'm just getting old but I don't care about a lot of the things I used to care about... like staying online no matter where I happen to be, or, having a spotless car, or an immaculately manicured lawn. Ok... so if you know me well, you know I've NEVER cared too much about one of those things!
Fred's Corollary of Matrimonial Happiness: The amount of time a man spends relentlessly working in his yard is inversely proportional to the satisfaction level of his marriage!
What about business, what does this have to do with business? I spent some time thinking about people I'd worked with in the past, and which ones had succeeded and which ones had not... and I tried to find something that was common to each group. I found this tidbit: people who cannot unplug, who cannot isolate, are more likely to fail over time than those able to turn off the phone, email, social media, other distractions, and focus. This also parallels not obsessing on what others think of you or your ideas.
To some this sounds radical. To some it's scary to unplug.
Focus and unplug.
Focus on one thing and unplug as much as possible. No one starts off at the top. Too many of us try to juggle multiple major goals as if we are at the top and have the resources, staff, procedures, and experiences in place to do so.
Success builds success and therefore it's easier to add more and more successes as your successes compound. You get better at saying no, asking for help, surrounding yourself with the right people to help you succeed, etc. You get better at making decisions and identifying successful possibilities.
Saying No... is Hard...
Until you try it a few times. Keep your goals in mind and say no to additional projects, requests, and ideas that do not lead to your goals. You can't say no to everything, but successful people say no to a lot of things. Probably the more successful you are the more you say no. The unsuccessful tend to say yes to everything and are constantly overwhelmed and spread too thin (and constantly somewhat miserable).
Fred's Law of Success: Your potential to succeed in any given endeavor is directly related to singularity of focus and congruency of thought.
Conflicting Thought Patterns (CTPs)
Most people have CTPs: Conflicting Thought Patterns (I think I just coined a new term!). The most common CTPs are about money, success, and relationships. For example a conflicting thought pattern: wanting more money while at the same time feeling contempt for those who have more money. A conflicting thought pattern for success: thinking you can't block out or unplug from the world UNTIL you're successful... i.e. once you're successful you'll have the ability to say "hold my calls" and "don't bother me" I'm working on something. Well color me stupid, but why not take that attitude now?
There are a lot of "gurus" out there teaching and coaching and counseling on this very problem of CTPs. It is known by a lot of names. CTPs are hidden little curses that can wreck your life. Some are innocently planted in you when you're very young, even as an infant. Some you germinate yourself as you bounce your way through life. Most of the time you're not aware of them, only their effects show. Even becoming aware of one does not make it go away. Sometimes you can change quickly, however, it can take years to change some thought patterns.
Start this New Year off looking under the hood for what makes you tick. Maybe you'll discover some small things about yourself you can change that will have a huge impact on your life!
Until next time,
P.S. My yard's a mess!
Posted by Fred Black on January 9, 2012 | Printer-Friendly
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